New Delhi, May 20 (IANS) In what is being described as Pakistan’s most ambitious promotional stunt, General Asim Munir has now been elevated to the rank of Field Marshal — the highest military title in Pakistan, previously held only by Ayub Khan, who famously lost the 1965 war against India.

And if history is any guide, this may be less of a promotion and more of a jinx.

As one X user said, “He is the second Field Marshal of Pakistan. The first was Md. Ayub Khan, who was defeated by India in 1965. History repeats itself.”

Apparently, in Pakistan, defeat is the new victory, and hiding in a bunker is the new valour.

Field Marshal for what exactly?

Social media couldn’t hold its laughter, sarcasm, and frustration.

Another user fired this zinger: “Failed Marshal Asim Munir promotes himself after leading country to Pakistan’s latest military defeat against India.”

It’s unclear whether this promotion was for tactical brilliance or emotional resilience during bunker confinement — which, some say, lasted longer than most Pakistani dramas.

Flight over fight?

One meme asks: “Ye wohi Field Marshal hai na jo field se bhag kar bunker me chhup gaya tha?” (“Isn’t he the same Field Marshal who ran from the field and hid in a bunker?”) Answer: Yes, and apparently, that’s the kind of courage Pakistan Army rewards now.

“Only in Pakistan…” moments the internet went wild with comparisons and creative confusion: “Only in Pakistan you can get a promotion for your failure.”

“They must be confused. Must have asked him to look after Agriculture and leave the Armed Forces. For them that must mean Field Marshal.”

Meanwhile, many wondered whether the next logical step would be giving him the title of Khalifa: “Pakistaniyo ka bas chale toh usko Khalifa bana de.” (If it were up to Pakistanis, they’d make him the Caliph.)

At this point, it’s unclear if the Pakistani Army is still running on strategy or just really dramatic WhatsApp forwards.

What’s Next? President Field Marshal?

As another user mockingly predicted: “What next? President of Pakistan Field Marshal Asim Munir?!”

Honestly, don’t rule it out.

In Pakistan, promotions are more about proximity to power than performance in the field.

Ayub Khan also promoted himself — and then promoted himself to President. At this rate, Asim Munir may soon be Field Marshal, President, CEO of PIA, and Chief Editor of ISPR memes.

A viral post summed it up perfectly:

“Pakistan Comedy of errors:

War fought by Airforce

Army Chief promoted

Army air defence in tatters

Army’s only contribution – taking videos of tanks and hiding in bunkers

Some users even questioned the criteria: “Since when did surviving a bunker stay become the criteria for Field Marshal? Next, they’ll promote someone for losing a tank in record time!”

Victory Parade… For a Defeat

“Pakistan Army logic: Get defeated by India, lose 11 airbases, declare ‘victory’, and then promote the boss to Field Marshal.”

At this rate, ISPR may soon be producing a Netflix comedy special titled: “Field Marshal – Escape from the Field.”

Final thoughts: Clown mulq (country) or comic genius?

The most brutally honest verdict came in two unforgettable words: “Clown Mulq (country).”

Indeed, for a country where retreat is repackaged as “tactical genius,” and promotions follow embarrassment like thunder after lightning, this isn’t a military strategy — it’s performance art.

Congratulations, Pakistan — your Field Marshal has officially taken satire to the rank of statecraft.

–IANS

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